I’m a Nervous Nellie. And Socially Awkward.

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Everything makes me nervous. Everything. And I’m nervous All. The. Time. I hate feeling that way, and it makes me second guess everything I do or say. When I started my new job, the first two weeks I had a tight knot in my stomach all day long and it only went away for like an hour once I got home because then I was nervous for the next day. I was afraid I’d do something stupid and mess something up. Or when I said anything, the guys here would think I was a ditz because they are all ridiculously smart and technical. It’s not so bad anymore, but sometimes I do feel a little out of my element there. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guys I work with, and I LOVE my job and never want to leave, but sometimes I think “Why the heck did they hire me???”.

I’m afraid if I say the wrong thing, someone will be offended or become upset with me. Not just at work, but everywhere. I’m constantly watching what I say, and in the past I have like a bit of a doormat because I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers or rock the boat, so I’d just go along with whatever.

Welcome. Please wipe your feet all over me. Tell your friends too!

I know this is something that I need to work on, but truth of the matter is, I have no idea how. But I definitely do NOT want Elijah to pick up my habits and allow people to do the same to him.

So because of my ridiculous fear of possibly offending someone, or upsetting them, or just sounding like I have no idea what I’m talking about, I’ve also become quite awkward when it comes to anything social. Rather than go and interact with people, I’d much rather sit in a corner (at home) reading a book. Books can’t think negatively about me, they just allow me to get away to another world (and I always fit in there). I don’t enjoy speaking in front of people and addressing them, I don’t want to be the center of attention, and I don’t just go up to strangers and start talking to them. I’ve always been a bit of an introvert, but I think in the last few years, it has gotten worse. Once I am familiar with someone, I have no problem opening up and being my true goofy self. But until then…

I wonder if they can see me under here?!

This is something I need to work on, and clearly I want to change. Any suggestions out there? It’d be SO much easier if I didn’t care what people thought of me. But I do. And I wish I didn’t.

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17 thoughts on “I’m a Nervous Nellie. And Socially Awkward.

  1. I relate to this 100%. I am looking for a job right now after having the same job for 12 years. I am terrified and get that knot in my stomach just thinking about it. I applied at a business I frequent quite often and when I go in there I get nervous about all of the social situations that are going to arise if I get the job. All new people! Yikes. If I can just fastforward to the comfort zone hase I had at my last job I would be ok.

  2. I am like you in a way. I know that I am different and some people have a hard time with it. I can’t put my finger on what makes me different I just know I am. Because of that I am always nervous in a new situation and stay pretty quiet. If you would know the true me you know I never shut up! After having my son it has become a little easier because people will ask about him and that sort of breaks the ice for me! Maybe this could help you too! 🙂 Make yourself go out of your comfort zone (yeah easier said than done I know) the more often you do that the easier it will become. I try to remember that most the people I see in life I will probably will never see again and who cares if they don’t like how I am doing it! For those that truly are your friends they won’t care. Just be yourself and don’t take to heart those that will criticize that just means they are insecure :)HUGS!

    • Thanks for the comment- you are so right. I don’t why I let people get to me so much lol. I just need to constantly remind me of the fact I WON’T be seeing most of these people again; and so what if I did!?! Lol- thanks so much for the kind words! 🙂

  3. Hi Shel! I think you are my long, lost sister. I can relate to this post 110%! You have just described me! I wish I could give you advice, but I have no clue. From what I can tell, you are a great mama and are an awesome person too. I am always afraid to me my silly self around people who do not really know me. Or when I was working full time, I was not the “true” me because I feared I would say the wrong thing or look silly. And now looking back, I think that is a darn shame. Me and hubs have moved to a new state. It has been hard for me to meet new friends. I miss my best-friend that lives like 3 states away. I miss the Starbucks get togethers or gatching up over a glass of wine. I just hope I meet some great women who want to be friends. Sorry I am just rambling here on your blog….lol. This was a great post and I know so many can relate. I say be “you” because I am sure that people are missing out in the real greatness that is you. Now if I can only listen to my own words……..

    • Awww Jackie- thanks for the comment! Too bad you and I didn’t live close- I think we could be great friends! 🙂 I hope you find some amazing new friends! And feel free to ramble on my blog anytime- I enjoyed reading it!!

  4. One thing I like to do as a conversation opener at a party is to ask some person a question. That helps to start the conversation ball rolling. And it’s fun to hear what people have to say … some folks are really good at telling great stories.

  5. Chele-Remember who your Father says that you are. You can be confident in His confidence and acceptance. I think that too many times I have worried about some of the same things, but recently, I have been working harder to accept myself as I am. To give a little grace, because I (we) are harder on ourselves than others are. Chances are good that you will say something absolutely ridiculous, and when you do, take time to laugh out loud-we all do it. If it makes you feel any better, the extent of my flakiness astounds me from time to time. You have such a big, kind heart. I will pray for you and Elijah that God will help you come into your own and be more gracious to yourself.

  6. Hi Shel! I love your seal! You know, my hubby is the introverted one out of the two of us. He has the ability to make small talk with strangers that I really admire, especially since I know it’s not his natural bent. What he usually does at a gathering is look for someone who also feels awkward and then talks to him or her. I think it’s a kindness not to let other people feel left out. That doesn’t mean those conversations lead to friendships, but they help to brighten the day. I will pray that you have more self-confidence and make new friends. It sounds like your job is a place where you can grow and that’s also cool.

    Tina – mom of 4, author and blogger of 5 blogs

    • Thanks Tina! I’ll take your tips into consideration 🙂 And I’ll take the prayers too! Yes, my job is pretty amazing- some days I can’t even believe I get paid to do what I do- I was definitely blessed when I got this one!

  7. Ya know Shell, those of us who love you really love the real you and we don’t care what someone else thinks. God loves you and He made you just the way you are. That is unconditional love. The ones who think you are stupid or goofy don’t care enough to appreciate the uniqueness of you. I love seeing you at church and getting a hug. Some days it is just what I need to know that it will be okay. We all have insecurities and want to be loved unconditionally. I love you and your son and am grateful that you have made an impact on my life. Keep trying and loving and knowing that you are unique and special!

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