It doesn’t seem possible that insects and pledge could go together. I mean, they have nothing in common, so what is the correlation? In my house, they go together like peanut butter and jelly, french fries and ketchup, hammer and nails. The list could go on and on, but I”ll spare you.
Now, usually I’m okay with being single. For the most part, it is what it is, and I’m too busy doing other things to really care. But sometimes it’s staring me down like something out of a horror movie, mocking my single status. Saturday, was one of those days. One of those days I REALLY wish I had a man in the house. I had just gone in the bathroom to shower, happened to look up, and saw this:
I’m not even 100% sure what it was. Possibly a cricket? A grasshopper? I dunno. I DO know that I am terrified of bugs. Ter-ri-fied. I always have been, and I wish I wasn’t. I realize that most bugs aren’t harmful, are more afraid of me then I am of them, blah blah blah… Fact of the matter is, those tiny things fah-reak me out! So I saw this creature on my wall/ceiling and figured the first step was to ask Elijah to get it. I went downstairs, asked him, and he said “Maybe.” After he saw it, he said “Nah. I wish Gavin was here”. Gavin is my super brave nephew and I wished he were there too. But he wasn’t. And I was NOT going to take a shower with that THING in my bathroom.
So that leads right back to me getting rid of it. At almost 5′ 4″, I am obviously too short to just smack it to its doom. Next option: Pledge. That’s right, I Pledge all insects to death. I am most afraid of them touching me while I try to kill them. So I hope that the mixture of deadly chemicals and heavy foam will knock them out and weigh them down enough to avoid jumping on me. I realize how ridiculous this fear is, and my method of killing them is probably more ridiculous. But it works!
So I sprayed him, and the mist barely reached him. Drats! Just what I was afraid of. He fell down and landed on top of the light fixture. Because of the way he fell, I assumed he was dead or dying. I decided to get into the shower, and just as I was pulling the curtain closed, looked over and saw the little (and he really was kind of little) guy hopping into the sink! The nerve! So I sprayed the crap out of him, and watched him die this time. Slightly morbid, but it had to be done. I couldn’t allow him to be there waiting for me when I got out. Another irrational fear; after trying to kill a bug, it will survive and turn on me. Or call all his friends with his last dying breath to come and attack me. And in order to attack me, they’d have to touch me. *shudder*
So until I can stop being such a baby (doubtful) and/or there is a man in my house to be the official ‘bug-killer’, it looks I will be buying Pledge in bulk (hey, sometimes I use it to dust too!) and killing bugs the most ridiculous way I know how.