Lijah Hit the Lottery With His Dad

Standard

I overheard my nephew asking Elijah if his dad “even buys him presents for Christmas?” He just kind of shrugged his shoulders and said “uh- I don’t know” and that was that. It really made me sad that he was even asked that question (my son and nephew both have some pretty crappy dads), and I couldn’t get it out of my head, and his sad response to it. It’s not like I didn’t realize his dad is a putz (I’m trying to be nice here), but I guess out of sight out of mind with him. He comes and goes in spurts, which really irritates me. I’ve told him so many times, in or out, but you can’t do both. Elijah used to ask about him on a regular basis, and now, not so much. He might mention him every now and again, but the mentions are getting fewer and farther between. I hate to even say this, but I’m glad that he is finally starting to see what a mope his dad is, on his own. I’ve never been one to talk bad about his dad to him (when he isn’t around though, well that’s another story) because I want him to realize on his own what kind of person he is, and not resent me in 15 years for talking smack about his dad. I think those days are finally here- I think in the past year he has talked to him about 4 times, and seen him none. Of course he hasn’t seen him in about 6 years, but that’s another story for another time. He doesn’t see him, and he doesn’t call. And when he does it’s always from a different number so I have no idea how to reach him if I wanted to. I think I’ve finally decided what the issue is. His dad friend requested me on Facebook earlier this year, and I saw a few of his posts were about a daughter that he’s been spending time with. I have decided that he can only be a ‘dad’ (and I use that term very loosely) to one child at a time. And that can be a little bit difficult when you have so many to choose from. I’m not sure on the exact number, but I *think* he only claims (again, a term I use loosely, like his belt buckle apparently) 3 or 4, although I know that there were more that have said he was the dad. I am apparently the only one who has filed for child support, which amazed me, and made him mad beyond belief when he first got served back in the day. When I’m lucky, I receive some on a fairly regular basis, and now I’m up to 20 bucks a week, so I’m super lucky, and just rolling in the dough (I know, I should just be glad I’m receiving child support, and I truly am, but $80/month is crap!)! I used to be angry, angry, angry at his dad at all times for being such an ass, but then I got over it and figured it was his loss. Every now and again, though, the anger just comes back with a vengeance (like now obviously) and I’m sickened at how someone can just ignore a child as awesome as Elijah. Thankfully though, I have an awesome family and my dad and especially my brother-in-law do an amazing job of trying to fill in the gap of an absent dad for Lijah, and they are much better role models anyways. However, it still doesn’t change the fact that I wonder what Elijah thinks is the reason why his dad doesn’t want to talk to him, or to see him. And kids should never have to wonder that. Ever. Sometimes I get mad at myself for even getting involved with him, and knowing it’s my fault Elijah has a crappy dad. But I know if I didn’t then I wouldn’t have such an amazing little boy to love, and I couldn’t stand not having him as a part of my life. I will never ever understand how someone can just willingly not be involved in their child’s life- it’s not natural. I’m still getting child support, so I guess he’s still alive and working on a regular basis. But I certainly wouldn’t know that by his involvement in his son’s life. I’m not really bitter, more disgusted by the way he chooses to live his life, and ignore Elijah living his. I’m sad that he even has to wonder about his dads love for him. Inside I’m a tiny bit happy I don’t have to *share* Elijah on the weekends (or any other time) with him, or share his hugs and kisses. Glad we have such a close relationship. Glad that someone as big as a mope as his dad, could give me something so amazing as Elijah!

I love that face!

I love that face!