Smell My Arm

That’s what my son said to me last night after football practice. He was dead serious, but I was just a little grossed out by it. (Never trust a little boy who wants you to smell him- that’s usually never a good thing).

He thought it was funny I wouldn’t smell his arm. Seriously, he asked me like 12 times.

It was a practice that was much like this one, but dirtier. (This post should have been called “The Mud is Everywhere The Sequel: The Mud Fights Back.” But I thought “Smell my Arm” had a better ring to it ;)) It looked like the boys had a BLAST last night- I can’t lie, I’m a little jealous that they were playing in mud puddles and all. Every now and again, I think it’s fun to get down and dirty and act like a kid again. Last night would have been one of those times.

Sliding through the mud 🙂

If that’s not fun for them, I don’t know what is

My two favorite boys

He was very careful, and I don’t think one speck of mud got anywhere it wasn’t supposed to. But that’s probably because he had a blanket to sit on once he got in the car. Plus, he was almost nekkid in the parking lot before he got in. Besides the fact that it was fun, I think it was an important practice. It showed them a whole new side to playing football, and how different it was playing in the rain/mud. When you can barely walk without falling, it makes blocking, tackling and running that much harder.

Easy does it now…

Whoopsie- watch your step!

When it was over, obviously he was disgusting. He said the only thing he didn’t like about the practice was he kept getting mud in his mouth- other than that, he thought it was pretty awesome. He had a ball, learned something new- and you can’t ask for anything better than that!

Dirty, but so happy and handsome!

Where’s Daddy??

Usually the questions come in spurts. He used to ask me where his “daddy” was, then once he was old enough, it’s when is “daddy” coming back to visit (and I put “daddy” in quotes because it kills me to use the word daddy when he hasn’t earned the right to be called it). I’m not here to publicly trash his dad on the internet, but let’s get a little background first, shall we? I moved to Chicago to nanny after I graduated high school  many moons ago. After a few months there, I met and fell in love with this amazing man-child. Fast forward a few years and I’m pregnant, and him and I were preparing to move back to Ohio to raise this little bean we are growing. Last minute he decides not to come, I’m broken hearted- but not as broken-hearted as realizing he had another child two months before ours was born. He came to visit Elijah was he was about 4 years old and ended up staying for a year and a half. During this time we tried working out a relationship and I realized that we could never have a healthy relationship nor could we co-parent this child with completely different views. He ended up moving back to Chicago or Wisconsin or somewhere, and I got to keep the prize 🙂

Before his dad came to visit, Elijah was always asking where is he, why don’t I have a dad, when can I see him, on and on the questions went. The only thing he knew was that he lived in another state, and I told him it was because of work and his family; he would miss them too much if he came here. After his dad came, and then left again, he asked me when he was coming back.  I told him he got a job in Minnesota and that’s where he had to be. He was okay with that answer for a while, but the older he got, the smarter he got as well.  He went through a phase where whenever his dad would call, he decided he didn’t want to talk to him. His answer was always, “Nah- I’ll call him back tomorrow” when his dad called and I asked if he wanted to talk. Tomorrow didn’t come for a LONG time for him, but alas, he began to miss him again.

Recently, he begin asking me when he could talk to his dad again, or if his dad could come back here and visit. I didn’t even have any contact information so that Elijah could call him, but after 8 long months of waiting (that’s right- it took him 8 months to call his son), his “daddy” finally calls him to say hi. Oh, and to ask if he could come pick him up and take him to Minnesota for two weeks before school started. I’m sorry, “What?!?! “. My immediate response was “Hell to the NO”. His dad was upset that I was “keeping him” from Elijah, and he’s his dad and has every right to see him. I said he could come here and see him, that option would never change. I wasn’t sure where he lived, what kind of people he hung out with, or what he would be subjecting Elijah to, and I’m not comfortable with sending Elijah into the unknown with him.  And poor Elijah is standing in the background shaking his head no, he doesn’t want to go. No matter how much he may miss him, or wish that he were here, the fact of the matter is; he is still a stranger to him. He has only seen him for a year and a half out of his almost 11 years. He never bonded with him, and listening to their phone conversations physically hurts me at times. Awkward silence anyone?

Can you hear the chirp, chirp, chirping?

I used to get upset with his dad when he wouldn’t call, or try to be involved with Elijah. I’ve since gotten over my anger- it’s obviously him that’s missing out on the awesomeness that is Elijah. However, I hate to see my child sad and hurting. And while he’s working through these feelings and figuring out whats going on with his absent dad, he’s sad and hurting and that hurts me. And when I’m hurting, I get angry.

Up until recently, I’ve never said anything negative about Elijah’s dad to him. I feel that isn’t my place to put any negativity in his head; he’s got plenty of time for the thoughts to come on their own, and they will, I’m sure of it. No matter the questions he would ask me about his dad, I was almost defending him, which in retrospect, makes me a little sick to  my stomach. My response was always, “You know Daddy loves you, he’s just busy working” or “Daddy wishes he could be here, but all his family is there with him” or “I’m sure daddy would LOVE to come see you, but it’s probably hard for him to take time off work”. The last time Elijah asked me if Daddy could come visit, and why he hasn’t seen him in so long, my response was “I don’t know honey. But I do know that even though you miss him a lot, it’s HIM that missing out, not you. You’re an amazing kid, and he doesn’t even know it.”

I have a hard time understanding how anyone could have a child out there in the world and not go crazy because they don’t talk to them in weeks or months, or see him/her for years! It doesn’t make sense to me, and I don’t think I ever WANT to understand how that’s even possible. So here’s my question; I know I’m not the only one in this situation. How do you guys handle absent parents and what do you tell your kids about them?

Drumroll Please…..

Came out pretty good right? The excitement and anticipation was well worth it!

I’m a Total Slacker

I haven’t been grocery shopping in, like months. OK, tiny exaggeration, but it’s been long enough that I ran out of things for lunches for Elijah. So this morning before dropping him off at day camp, I stopped at Giant Eagle to buy him a Lunch-able (please don’t judge). He decided he wanted to wait in the car since he was munching on the hash brown I bought him at McDonald’s when I stopped to get coffee ( I know I know… I don’t deserve the Mother of the Year award for that combo). So I locked the car doors and run inside to get him an uber healthy Lunch-able. Since it was only me and like 2 other people shopping at the time, I figured it’d be a quick in and out experience. After I picked his stuff up, I stopped in the chips aisle to get me some pretzels. I’m standing there staring at the pretzels, trying to decide between regular and Honey Wheat Stix, as if my life depended on it. So while I’m standing there making this life-altering decision, I hear feet pounding through the store, coming closer. It took everything in me to tear my eyes away from the pretzels, but as I did, I see Elijah FLY by the aisle. He looked down and saw me, but was literally running so fast he just Could. Not. Stop. I called his name, he turns around and the look on his face immediately has me scared to. He was all “IjustwantedsomewaterI’msorrycaralarmwantedwatersothirsty”. His eyes were ginormous and he had tears in them and I wasn’t sure what to do with the words he just gave me. I told him to take a deep breath and start over.

This is totally what his face would have looked like if he was like 20 years older. And white.

Apparently, he tried to open the door to get out and the car alarm went off while he was sitting inside, which FREAKED him out (Well, duh, it would have freaked me out too)! So he was running through the store like a mad man trying to find me. We went outside to turn it off and it had already stopped, so I hit the unlock button on my remote- I don’t know why. The alarm started going off again and I wasn’t sure how to make it stop. There was an old man sitting in his car chain-smoking and was between us and the car. He was clearly unhappy with the situation based by his sour-puss face, but thankfully we couldn’t hear what he was yelling over the alarm (he actually reminded me of the old man from Up, as he was in the beginning, but real). I kept pushing buttons until it was quiet, then we went back in, got the groceries, and got my poor little man some water.

I was truly dying to laugh, but Elijah has quite the sensitive soul, and I didn’t want to push him over the edge, what with all the adrenaline or whatever running through his body. But I’m not going to lie- I laughed most of the way to work (not like constantly laughing, because that would have been weird. More like the random laughs that bubble up out of nowhere and make you look like an idiot because you driving all alone and laughing laugh.)

In case you were wondering: I totally chose the Honey Wheat Stix. I mean, was there really ever a choice??  🙂

The Mud is Everywhere!

Yesterday it rained most of the afternoon. Which is fantastic because we are in dire need of some rain. But last night was football practice and even though it had stopped raining just prior to it starting, the fields were obviously wet. Very wet. Which meant that a couple hundred boys got a two-hour allowance to play in the mud- what young man wouldn’t love that??? I’m sure I probably wouldn’t let Elijah go outside and play in the mud for two hours at home… since I’m the mean mommy and all 🙂 Honestly, I’m surprised he was as clean as he was when it was all said and done:

I don’t know why- I love this photo

He’s all “I’m gross”

What a rear-view

His pretty white pants

The previous night it sprinkled a little bit during practice, and I didn’t bring anything to protect my seats. So I let his barely dirty self in my car, and the next day, I was so glad that I had leather seats! I had dried mud all over the passenger side and it made me flinch. It was barely noticeable, but because I bought a new car about a month and a half ago and it’s still in the “No foods or liquids” stage, dirt makes me shudder:

So last night I thought ahead (which doesn’t happen often) and brought a blanket to cover the seat and a towel to cover the floor. Crisis averted- car was kept clean, and Elijah had a ball playing in the mud for two hours. He was growling at me to stop taking his picture but I’m a mom, that’s what we do!

He’s so done with the whole picture-taking experience.